My message to Dr. Rohaya Mohammad, chairperson of the Obedient Wives Club

Dear Dr,

I cant help to notice the sensation created from your latest group. Coming from another religion and from another point of view, I (my personal opinion) is that your concept and the gist of the setting up of the “group” is good. For the 1^st time, this topic is being championed openly by the fairer sex, and I applaud you for being a very brave Muslim woman who is daring and openly talking about the most taboo topic – sexual health and relationship. However, while I may not be sure what was actually mentioned or whether there were misinterpretations in the mainstream media, I felt that some of your comments were not accurate.

For instance, when you mentioned about the case where the husband bludgeoned the wife because she didn’t prepare meals or the probability of her not “servicing” the hubby the night before. I would like to mention that there is never an excuse to be physically abusive to the wife or anyone in particular. While I agree that it is the “responsibility” of the wife to fulfill the husband’s needs, but it could be possibly the very fact that he was someone abusive, selfish and doesn’t bother about the wife’s needs, which was why she refused his advances. We should never justify the wrong with another wrong.

I would like to also comment on some of your statements where they seem biased towards blaming the wives, as it seems as if their lack of sexual appetite is the root cause for many evil deeds. Example, due to the lack of love making, the men turn to rape for pleasure. I can assure you that while there may be instances where this could be true and happened previously, but generally, whatever the reasons, it is WRONG to outrage the modesty of anyone for whatever the reasons. Furthermore, the term Obedient may not go well and it is  degrading among the wives. Obedient, to many, is a form of action where we normally associate with living things of lesser intellectual, such as, an obedient dog who is able to perform stunts and obeys the command of the master.

While I do agree that a healthy sexual ratio is imminent in fostering good ties for the couple, I felt that this a responsibility that both the husband and wife should share equally. While it is always easier to blame the wives for not giving in to their hubby's needs, there has also been  a serious lacking of the husbands to ensure that the wives’ emotional needs are well taken-cared off too.

Again, I would like to highlight the concept of having a venue for women/wives to voice out or even learn more about a healthy sexual lifestyle is something marvelous, especially during a time when we have been debating/dabbling about having sexual education for the umpteenth’ time. However, I strongly feel that the approach needs to be changed to gain a wider audience and recognition. Why not start by naming the club with something classy so that the public will not “label” the members as someone who is attending obedient school? Call it the Women’s Lifestyle Club, for instance! Furthermore, get the husbands to join in, there’s got to be a reason why the wife refuses to get intimate with the husband. It could be something emotional, it could be something physical, or it could even be something medical. Once the couple is able to find the root cause of the bedroom rot together in a neutral environment, there is no reason why they would even want to work and iron things out together and eventually, lead a healthy sexual lifestyle.

I stand to be corrected,
Cheerio,
Adam Lee